I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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