We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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