Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
