I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
