Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
