I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.