using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
