you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
