just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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