Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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