Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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