I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
