My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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