she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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