My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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