I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
