My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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