We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
