If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
