definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
