i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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