is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
