i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
