it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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