it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
there is puke in my bra ... again
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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