The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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