so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
