in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
