I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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