you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
