dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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