If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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