she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My vagina is officially offended.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
