i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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