; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
bring money and cleavage
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.