He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This is my gift to your gina
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.