Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.