i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...