u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?