i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.