She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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