What did we do last night that was yellow?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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