I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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