Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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