yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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