Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
