Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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