yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want her autograph on my taint
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
