is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize