he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
