3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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