hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
