I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
