i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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