They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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