I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
