My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You are a genius and a whore.
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