Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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