Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
