for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
