problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
