I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
